What’s Keeping You Up at Night?

The Darkness of Addiction

I recently attended an annual conference where the question was asked, “What’s keeping you up at night?”   This was a question I took deeply to heart.

Several years ago I found myself in a darkness of addiction. After surviving a debilitating accident, my body became dependent upon pain medications. Gradually the dosage increased to an excessive amount becoming unmanageable.

There were times that I remember lying on the floor in a fetal position hoping that the light of day would come. Add to that the severe battles of depersonalization. In the evenings I would be alone abusing my medications, often dozing off into numbness where I couldn’t feel any pain or emotion at all.  It was a vicious cycle from week to week.

I would spend excessive amounts of time at doctors’ offices and then make my way over to the pharmacy to fill my prescriptions.  I remember feeling the need to always have my medications on me and I often times would run out of medications before my refills were scheduled. My family was deeply concerned and suggested that I seek treatment.

For me the words professional help, accountability, and treatment center were not in my vocabulary.  I wanted to do it MY way… but the reality was – my family was not skilled to treat me. I was an addict that couldn’t seem to manage my pain.

Seeking Help

In 2011, I decided to get help for my substance abuse and checked myself into a drug and alcohol treatment center. It was there that I learned how to address the things that were causing my abuse and started implementing quality back into my life.

When I returned from the treatment center I quickly realized the road ahead would be challenging… there was a liquor store on every corner, there was a pharmacy on every other corner, and even though I had stopped using drugs, my friends were still partying like the good old days. I was being tempted by my surroundings and had to come up with a plan.


I started removing myself from the element and created what I call Sustainable Patches for my feelings, fears and emotions.  I would take a negative thought pattern that I was having and I would reprogram myself with a positive affirmation. This repetitive process allowed me to implement new ways of thinking. I found that if I took myself to a powerful setting, like a botanical garden or a mountain top, I could reprogram myself for success.

I share this message with executives and business people that I encounter in my travels providing simple ways to rewire the way we think.  To learn more tips on quality of life and ways to find your reset button, visit www.InspiredBalance.org


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